The weekend has been a 48 hour headtrip, filled with highs, lows, and everything in between. It has seen my older sis jet over to US and A, where I will be joining her in just over two months time, it has seen further recapturing of past connections, it has seen odes and ditties become songs that move you. It has also provided the setting for an interesting and memorable evening…

Friday night was a work do… a group of us decided we would head out after work and attempt some kind of social interaction, something that doesn't happen with our little group. We started at The Vic, before making our way to Santa Fe for some gut churning Mexican and 2-for-1 cocktails. There, we realised only 5 of the 7 supposed to be coming out actually made it (this is an entire back-story in itself, and definitely not for here), but we didn't let that worry us, nor curb our drinking.

Santa Fe led to The Subi, which led to the Llama Bar, which led back to the Subi, which led back to the Llama Bar, then finally to the Red Sea, the setting for the story. Before starting, it can't be left unsaid that Subiaco, for all its popularity, is the most pretentious and boring place to spend an evening, unless your idea of fun is standing amongst beautiful people drinking overpriced drinks.

So… yes… we were at the Red Sea, and in my state I noticed that a small bar on the mid-level was unmanned with a number of cold drinks sitting behind it. Wanting to save the bar people some work, I chose a Red Bull from behind the bar, opened it and began to drink, believing the bar people would notice and put it on the tab I was sure they were going to set up for me and I would have paid by the night's end (that's my story and I'm sticking to it).

Unfortunately, the bouncer misconstrued my act of generosity as thievery and I was escorted from the premises, but not before being manhandled and having my wallet rifled through (despite my complicitness – and this absolutely true). After being told my patronage was no longer welcome, I walked to the train only to find it was not operational (though the ticket machine somehow was – enjoy my $4, Transperth!), and resorted to phoning my knight in shining armour to pick me up (thanks Jody!)

Saturday night is also a story to be told, but I will leave it as I'm fast running out of creative juice. I will just mention it included naked swimming, lost passports, under-aged drinking, more establishment ejections, rolling in urine, old chips and an interesting bathroom experience, and you can join the dots from there!

Will write again when my liver recovers.

Love to all

Az

It's been confirmed – in June, I am finally going to see one of my favourite bands of all time – GUNS N ROSES!!!!!!!!!

Well, sort of – more like Axl Rose and some dudes he used to replace all the band members he fired. But hey, it's better than a slap on the face with a raw chop.

To paint a picture, Gunners have been part of my life since a primary school friend showed me "Get in the Ring" back in Year 5 and we laughed at all the swear words. I managed to convince my parents to buy me the album and as it turned out, the rest of it was pure gold. This led to the purchase of all of their albums, minus The Spaghetti Incident, and an obsession with the band that has lasted to this day (albeit slightly repressed during the height of alt-rock when they were no longer cool).

15 years on and I still love 'em. I promised myself I would see this band if they ever reformed and came back to Australia. Now I have my chance – I only hope Axl doesn't cancel on us (which I'm half expecting)… My biggest grievance is that the concert is at the Burswood Dome, which has all the sound quality of a wind-tunnel. But hey, they're coming to Perth, I should just be grateful of that. 

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Still on music news, I recently bought the new Nine Inch Nails album, Year Zero. As with all NIN releases, it is loud, aggressive, abrasive, and takes multiple listens to fully get a handle on it, but doing so is a very rewarding experience. Where it departs from traditional NIN is that Trent Reznor has stepped outside of his infinite self-loathing and created a concept album; one based on a near-future dystopia.

Where the basic concept lacks in originality, it makes up for in the delivery. Each song represents a different perspective in this reality, from the Government controlled by the Military and Church, to the innocent bystander, to the soldier questioning his part in society, to the resistance movement. The story is fleshed out over numerous hidden websites/events/forums that have been set up to essentially recreate this alternate reality in fine detail. Each site is discovered via a host of clues placed by NIN and their marketers, everywhere from bathroom stalls at concerts, to coded messages on merchandise, to a thermal coating on the actual CD, to morse code blips in individual songs, to details of secret gigs which in turn are "faux-raided" by the military. It is actually quite astounding, and I really hope this sets a precedent for other artists to revive the concept of an "album". For more detail check out www.ninwiki.com, which gives an adequate summation of the album's back story and various plot devices.

Musically, Year Zero is definitely not for everyone. If you enjoy abrasive rock, concept albums or science fiction you may be pleasantly pleased. My two cents: this is up there with The Downward Spiral and the criminally underrated The Fragile in the set of NIN masterworks, and will probably be the best album 2007 offers up (until the new Pumpkins album arrives in July, of course).

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A random observation, has anyone else heard Bjork's new song Earth Intruders? With her accent, does it sound like she's singing "arse intruders", or is it just me?

Everything is Nothing

­­­­

The freeway lights out here, they light the high road home

They set agendas in this sleepy town

It makes for troubled times, arousing addled minds

When silver gauges can be melted down

So I tick box by box, this liar’s paradox

A relic of our blind devotion

When second sparks ignite consistent alibis

Divulging feared and dreaded notions

It’s hard to believe that Rage is now 20 years old. I know it has been a big part of most people’s lives, from the 12 year old teeny bopper to the most obsessed music buff; from the casual viewer to the burnt out insomniac. But for me, Rage is a very important cornerstone of my resultant musical persuasions.

As a young person growing up in a small country town where the record store was a small shelf at the video shop and radio was one AM station dedicated to 60s “classics”, Rage was lifeblood for me. Since the age of five, a good song has been synonymous with a good music video. Below are 20 clips that have been an important part of my life. Whilst likely not to be the most critically praised by music boffins, these were the videos that I would stay up late / wake up early, or stop what I was doing just to watch over the past 20 years:

1. 1987 – Bad, Michael Jackson

2. 1988 – Rock & Roll Music, Mental as Anything

3. 1989 – Mystery Girl, Roy Orbison

4. 1990 – Unskinny Bop, Poison

5. 1991 – Smells Like Teen Spirit, Nirvana

6. 1992 – November Rain, Guns N Roses

7. 1993 – I would do Anything for Love (But I Won’t Do That), Meatloaf

8. 1994 – Today, Smashing Pumpkins

9. 1995 – Bullet with Butterfly Wings, Smashing Pumpkins

10. 1996 – Peaches, Presidents of the United States of America

11. 1997 – Smack my Bitch Up – The Prodigy

12. 1998 – The Dope Show, Marilyn Manson

13. 1999 – Baby One More Time, Britney Spears

14. 2000 – Stan, Eminem

15. 2001 – Schism, Tool

16. 2002 – Sorta Fairytale, Tori Amos

17. 2003 – Gay Bar, Electric Six

18. 2004 – She Will Be Loved, Maroon 5

19. 2005 – The Special Two, Missy Higgins

20. 2006 – Song to Say Goodbye, Placebo

10:     Reality show contestants with no acting ability or experience are employed as actors on this show. Even worse, their lack of chops is barely noticeable compared to the show's other "talent".

          Evidence: Blair from Big Brother, Dan from Idol

9:       All the hot characters leave the show after a short amount of time, and all the old/ugly/annoying ones stay forever and ever.

          Evidence: Flick (Holly Vallance) and Nina (Delta Goodrem) – hot, left the show. Bree, Harold and Lou – gross/annoying, still on the show.

8:       Despite every Neighbours marriage ending in some form of major catastrophe, the characters still get hitched (sometimes more than once, to the same person) and are still upset when the result is the same.

          Evidence: Toady and Dee, Karl and Susan.

7:       Neighbours writers often misconstrue character development as shallow stereotyping, with Minor / Guest characters being the most affected.

          Evidence: Mishka, Lou's vodka drinking Russian bride with a dodgy accent and ties to the mafia.

6:       The show requires the suspension of disbelief that such disparate classes of people could all be living in one homogenised suburban street.

          Evidence: Paul (the millionaire) Karl (the doctor) and the Timmons' (lower class bogans) are all current Ramsay street residents.

5:       Characters are often touted as "evil" in the shows promos, yet the "wicked schemes" these evil characters mastermind are invariably quite tame.

          Evidence: Robert (promoted as 'The Face of Pure Evil') doctoring Izzy's voice in a recording, manufacturing a false confession, to break up her relationship to Paul.

4:       All of the fat/ugly male characters punch well above their weight (no pun intended) when attracting the ladies.

          Evidence: Toady and Dee, Today and Steph, Toady and – well – anyone.

3:       The shameless Channel 10 cross-promotions.

          Evidence: The Rove McManus episode

2:       The writers propagating the belief that suburban neighbours actually talk and interact with each other in real life.

          Evidence: Pretty much the crux of the show

1:       The fact that the show is on every night at 6:30 when I sit down to eat tea, when there is no better TV alternative in that timeslot, forcing me to watch it and gradually hooking me to the point where it becomes a part of my nightly routine and quite often the highlight of my day.

          Evidence: My house at 6:30pm Mon-Fri, and the fact that I've written an entire post about this show (still – I don't have fictional Neighbours characters as Myspace friends, unlike some people I know ;-)  ).

Last night was something of a landmark for me, as my culinary agility hit a new peak.

I invited Jody over for dinner, promising that the food I was to prepare would in no way be something microwaveable, nor would it consist of sausages.

… and I didn't disappoint

The evening's meal was an absolute success, the main feature being the lamb cutlets that I cooked in my brand spankin' new George Foreman Grill (a birthday gift from parents worried about my excessive pizza intake). The lamb was complemented by vegetables that were bought, cut and boiled (rather than the frozen steamer bag variety), and mashed potato, which I managed to mash to a consistency that resembled solid rather than liquid mass (thanks to some timely advice from my housemate!).

Served on the couch in front of Dancing with the Stars and washed down with a refreshing glass of Fruity Lexia, it was certainly was a romantic evening to remember!

Next challenge: tuna bake!

Adios

IronChefAz

Hey all

Well it's been a fair whack of time since I last posted, and the space between has been filled with many highs, lows, turning points, poignant events and continual catharsis. I can honestly say, at the very point in time of writing this post, I feel happy and at peace. I'm also aware that this feeling rests on a house of cards that has the potential to fall at any time without warning; unless I do everything in my power to remain balanced and focussed.

Last week, I celebrated a birthday. It was a lacklustre affair, given my quarter century milestone; however I got to spend my time with people who are important to me. A good friend of ours also got married (in spectacular fashion, I might add), has moved into new digs with his wife, and will soon be honeymooning in Penang.

Jody and I have had a turbulent time. It feels as though we have been loitering on the edge of oblivion, only to rediscover the spark that had been the catalyst for 1½ years of bliss. At the same time, I have seen the disintegration of a friendship between two people really important to me. It has been difficult for everyone involved and I hope eventually, failing human intervention, the sands of time soothe any anger, hurt and frustration between them – and not just for their sake, because I treasure both of these people and would hate to see either relationship be affected by this.

The week has also given me a taste of how our band will sound with a drummer. I jammed with Ash and the drummer from my old band, whilst Jon provided the odd harmony and one handed clap. It sounded good, and has reinvigorated my lust for creating and performing music. Jon and I did a performance / interview for a radio show, and I will be performing solo as well in the coming month(s). Concurrently, the final piece of our band puzzle still remains elusive, but I am sure we will strike gold soon.

I have also booked my flights to America; leaving 27^th July, Returning 30^th August. The next few months will consist of me sorting passports, international driver's licenses, US currency etc, as well as trying to scrounge together as much cash as possible so I don't end up sleeping in a cardboard box at the side of LA International Airport for a month!

Until next blog, take care of yourself and each other.

Peace, love and death metal.

Az

Last night, I divulged some very personal information to someone, who I believe in one form or another has since relayed my secret in a public forum. For fear of reprisal, I have decided to come clean...

… I like "Lips of an Angel"

I know I shouldn't. My head tells me this poor excuse for a cock-rock power ballad is in lower ebb than even Nickelback b-sides, with its banal lyrics, predictable structure and a limpwristed singer that sounds like an even worse version of Scott Stapp and dances like an autistic child. But every time I hear this song or see the video for it, I watch intently; openly mocking it but secretly enjoying every last second.

And it's killing me.

I'm hoping that getting this off my chest will free me of the chokehold this song has on me. And while I'm being confessional, I also have to admit that I purchased a Hilary Duff album on my own accord, enjoy Hugh Grant movies, watch Neighbours, and own a season of Dawson's Creek.

If anyone would like to join my in my circle of trust and admit some guilty pleasures, please do. I can assure you, this a mock-free zone ;-)

10:     Perth drivers think that because they have mags and a spoiler on their shitbox VK Commodore that they are Peter Brock incarnate, and thus are duly qualified to drive as such around the suburban streets.

9:       When a Perth driver's shitbox car dies, a convenient and affordable alternative to have their car towed to a wrecker is to remove the licence plates and abandon it.

8:       Perth drivers think that the correct procedure in a merge lane is to get in front of as many cars as possible, no matter how much it further clogs up traffic.

7:       Perth drivers think they have a 10 second buffer zone between the time the light turns green and when they accelerate.

6:       The above buffer zone renders it acceptable for Perth drivers to run lights that have only just turned red.

5:       Perth drivers think it's OK to pull out in front of oncoming traffic and lackadaisically accelerate as to hold up vehicles behind them.

4:       Perth drivers believe tailgating someone in peak hour traffic will make them and the ten cars in front go faster, or at the very least attract sympathy from other road users for the fact that they're not going as fast as they would like to.

3:       Perth drivers feel obliged to go 90kmh over the narrows and abuse anyone sticking to the speed limit, then continue to go 90kmh in the peak lane when the limit increases to 100kmh

2:       Perth drivers are under the impression that signalling and being in the correct lane when entering and exiting a roundabout an optional road rule. 

Yep, it’s true! If you don’t believe us check it out for yourself at www.uncharted.com.au – we’re one of the bands they’ve labelled as “hot picks”, which was a bit of a shock to my system when I nonchalantly checked the site at work this morning. Interestingly, I’ve actually seen Mercy Arms live before, when they opened for The Strokes in August last year.

While you’re checking that out, could you do us a favour – register with the website and vote for us? If you’re extra keen, apparently you can vote once a day until the end of the competition. The overall prize includes a record contract with Sony BMG, so we’d be extremely grateful to whatever votes get flung our way.

Ta muchly!